Events

Next Meeting

Thursday, September 17th

6:00 - 7:30pm Eastern

Erin Presbyterian Church Classroom

200 Lockett Rd, Knoxville, TN 37919

https://zoom.braverangels.org/4923

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Erin Presbyterian: Our New Permanent Meeting Space!

Starting in September, the East TN in-person meetings will be at Erin Presbyterian Church in Bearden instead of "whichever library meeting room happened to be available."

This will give us a consistent, convenient location to meet every month, and we won't have to rush to pack up and leave before closing time.

Enter through the front doors (pictured here) and look for the signs that will direct you to the meeting room.

The Dignity of Dolly

Dolly Parton epitomized the Braver Angels Way. Her recent passing has shown us just how beloved she was by people across the political spectrum. It seems like everyone in East Tennessee has a Dolly story, and we want to take some time this month to celebrate our hometown hero and talk about what it was about her that made everyone feel like she was on their side. These articles go into detail about how and why we all felt that way.

One of the key things about Dolly is that she truly respected the dignity of every single person. Whether it was the poor communities of rural Appalachia, minorities, LGBTQ+, or her conservative country music fan base, she always stuck up for anyone when others tried to bully or condescend to them. She was larger than life, but always humble and willing to laugh at herself. These are the exact qualities that the Dignity Index helps shine a light on.

The creators of The Dignity Index have partnered with Braver Angels to offer workshops designed to teach people how to recognize dignity and contempt in the way we talk to each other, both in-person and online. The index shows us the different shades of dignity, and how to recognize speech that divides people, versus words that affirm the inherent worth of the people with whom you disagree.

For this month's Braver Angels meeting, let's learn about the Dignity Index, share our favorite Dolly stories, and use her example to learn how to always treat others with respect.

Some Dolly Quotes

“It’s too hard for me... I know how sincere everybody is. Even if they’re not that good, they believe they are. And I just can’t hurt people.” (on turning down judging American Idol and The Voice)
“Love too often gets buried in a world of hurt and fear. We have to work to dig it out.”
“I try to love everybody. ... Lord, I’ve got enough problems of my own to pass judgment on somebody else.”

A Dolly Story (Source)

This classic Dolly story shows both her respect for the dignity of all people, and her ability to use her wit to encourage others to do the same.

Garbage was everywhere, rats were running around, and Dolly noticed a man lying on the ground, shivering in the cold. She took off a big shawl she was wearing and put it around the man – unaware that anyone was watching. But Stallone saw it, walked up, jerked away the shawl, and said to Dolly: “Don’t you put that good shawl over that scum! He could have made something of himself. We did.”

Dolly was stunned to hear a friend talk that way, grabbed back the shawl, wrapped it around the man, then got in Stallone’s face and said: “Hey, look! That could have been you, you ungrateful son of a bitch! Except by the grace of God. Who knows. It could be an angel sent to show you what an ass you really are. He’s one of God’s creatures, and that’s good enough for me.”

(Just a note: Wait! Dolly used contempt?!?! Yes, she did. And it worked. Chronic contempt is almost always harmful. But one sharp dose of contempt from someone who loves you and never talks to you that way can wake you up.)

The film crew was stunned and stood back. Stallone looked hurt and said, “You’re right.” Dolly later found her shawl back in the trailer and heard that Sly had gone back to the man, covered him in a blanket, and given him some money.

Dolly's 2009 UTK Commencement

In her 2009 UT graduation speech, Dolly lays out her philosophy of nonjudgmental respect for all.

“If you truly care about people, you won’t judge them, and you will learn to appreciate the uniqueness in every human soul.”

Dolly's Barbara Walters Interview

This interview is a great example of subtle contempt, and how to respond to it with dignity and grace.

Where would you rate Barbara Walters' statements and questions on the Dignity Index? How would you rate Dolly's responses?

Discussion Questions

Dolly was mocked as a child for the coat her mother made her — and mocked as an adult for her look, her voice, her background. Where on the 1–8 scale would you place the mockery she received? Where would you place her responses?
She's said she "does not judge" people whose choices or identities differ from hers, even within her own conservative, religious community. Is refusing to judge the same thing as agreeing with someone? Where does that distinction sit on the Dignity Index — can you disagree strongly (even a 3 or 4) while still treating someone with dignity?
The Stallone/shawl story has Dolly using a flash of real anger and contempt in defense of someone's dignity. Does the Index leave room for that? Is there a difference between contempt used once, sharply, from love — versus contempt as an ongoing pattern?
Dolly managed to be beloved by both the "religious right and the gay community" at the same time, in her own words, by living in both worlds and loving both. What does that tell you about dignity as a practice versus dignity as an opinion?
Pick one Dolly quote from tonight. As a group, try scoring it 1–8. Where do you disagree, and why — what in the specific wording moves your score?
Turn it around: think of a recent statement (yours, a public figure's, anyone's) that scored low on the Index. What would a "Dolly translation" of that same statement sound like — same honesty, same disagreement even, but scored higher?
She grew up poor in Appalachia and became enormously wealthy and famous without, by most accounts, losing warmth toward the community she came from. Does status or power change how hard it is to stay in the upper half of the Index? Does it get easier or harder?

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